I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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