after a month anything with tits is on the radar
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize