the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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