So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
