I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
