She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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