my mouth tastes like poor choices
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Welp...herpes.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
