I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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