well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize