so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I had to cum in my sink.
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