Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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