I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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