wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
