i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize