He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
