Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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