We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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