we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
