boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
