I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
