Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
