I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
