Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
