He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
