Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
