I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
