Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
