from now on my penis is your penis
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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