No stitches, just platelets and will power
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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