im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize