Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
