Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
