Betty ford says i'm here all night
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
