I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize