He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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