what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize
