Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
