made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
