Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
