Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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