I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
