this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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