after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
