Soap is not a condiment
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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