this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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