There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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