Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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