Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
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