She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize