we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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