if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize