Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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