He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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