Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
