I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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