So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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