A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
